Morning!

I was going to do this all fancy-like, with pictures and stuff, but it's New Year's Eve and I can't be arsed. So:

THE FATHER BANANAS 2008 ROUND-UP



MUSIC

TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2008

10. Only By The Night, Kings of Leon
Because catchy singles are catchy

9. This Is Alphabeat, Alphabeat
Because I have the Danish release which has the better version of 'Boyfriend' on it

8. Soundtrack, Repo! The Genetic Opera
"I remember. I DISMEMBER!" Repo! has the delights of murderous singing Giles, Paris Hilton actually being amazing, Pavis epic creepiness, Sarah Brightman's glowy eyes, Grave Robber being disturbingly attractive and the incredible voice of Rotti Largo. Just avoid 'Seventeen'

7. Blackout, Britney Spears
She is mental. She can't sing live. 'Womanizer' is a better song than anything on this album. But as a whole, I prefer 'Blackout' to 'Circus', purely for the "It's Britney, bitch!" line.

6. Music Music Music, John Barrowman
John Barrowman. Can he everbe stopped? Will he ever die? Is he human? Is he dancer? I'd be happy with him staying after albums like this, because not only does he sing 'I Know Him So Well' with Daniel Boys, he then sings it a second time WITH HIMSELF

5. Out Of Control, Girls Aloud
The girls are usually higher, but this is not as good as 'Tangled Up'

4. The Alesha Show, Alesha Dixon
Alesha is my new girl-love. Anyone who MCs the Children In Need number and manages to make Mambo No. 5 somehow even better is deserving of our respect

3. The Circus, Take That
I know, I know, someone like me only puts Take That at #3. But that's only because I've only just got this album and I haven't listened to it nearly enough times to like it as much as 'Beautiful World'. Still, it has plenty of Mark, which is good, and Jason going mental with lyrics, which is good. It's just a shame (but not) that Gary gave his most powerfully epic chorus of the year ('What About Us?') to The Barrowman.

2. I Know You're Married But I've Got Feelings Too, Martha Wainwright
Fact of the matter. I wanted a Wainwright, and Rufus is MIA. Luckily then, Martha's album is wonderful. Rufus is for my soothing, sad times. Martha I stick on for "Right on, sister!" moments. ILU Martha. (I think I just love people called Martha. Martha Jones, Martha Wainwright, Martha from High School Musical...)

1. Hey Ma, James
Could I love James any more? James are annoying, because of how they confuse people. Whenever I talk about them, people are all "James who?" And because the singer is actually called Tim, the only way to illustrate them is to start singing 'Sit Down', which is unfair. 'Sit Down' is still amazing, but so is most of their almost 30 year back catalogue. 'Hey Ma' properly shows that too, with songs like 'Upside Down' and 'White Boy'. I love that, although not as popular as Take That, James are one of the only other respectable comebacks of the moment. Power to the Manchester bands!


TOP 10 SINGLES OF 2008

10. Human, The Killers
Not as anthemic as 'When You Were Young', not as good as their first album. But mental lyrics means Fun Killers Tymes

9. Black & Gold, Sam Sparro
Other than 'You Can't Stop The Beat' from Hairspray, this is my 2008 Canal Street song.

8. Use Somebody, Kings Of Leon
Everyone else is saying 'Sex On Fire'. I don't know why, but I just think this one's better.

7. White Boy, James
The best bit is when Tim Booth sings "My mum says I look like Yul Brynner" BECAUSE HE DOES

6. Greatest Day, Take That
It's no 'Patience' or 'Rule The World', and it's not Mark singing so it'll never beat 'Shine', but it's got a suitably cracking chorus and will be great live.

5. The Promise, Girls Aloud
That quite good 60's style one that wasn't as good as 'Biology' but was still Very Good

4. Boyfriend, Alphabeat
Despite not being as good as the Danish version

3. What About Us? John Barrowman
John Barrowman, you are indebted to Gary Barlow forever. I don't think you'll ever record something as great ever again. Unless you put yours and Jodie Prenger's version of 'Come What May' on your next album. Well done, Messrs Barrowman and Barlow.

2. Dance Wiv Me, Dizzee Rascal ft. Calvin Harris
Unlike almost everyone I know, Calvin's bits are my least favourite part of the song. I just genuinely love Dizzee, he's ace!

1. The Boy Does Nothing, Alesha Dixon
I LOVE YOU ALESHA!


AND THE WORST
Katy Perry's existance.



TELLY

TOP 15 TELLY SHOWS OF 2008

15. Skins
Not as good as series 1, no Danny Dyer, but Chris was still lovely.

14. Mad Men
I'd been enjoying it for weeks before I realised Connor, son of Angel was in it.

13. Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe
No matter how angry I get in life, I'm always safe in the knowledge that Charlie's angry too.

12. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart is pretty much the saviour of mankind. His debates with Mike Huckabee and Bill O'Reilly showcase that he is the most intelligent and brilliant voice in American politics. Yes, even more than Obama. Just. Plus, he's hilarious.

11. Mock The Week
I didn't enjoy this series as much as the last one, but still consistently funny entertainment. And I love Dara.

10. Ashes To Ashes
I don't like Alex. I want Sam back. Gene is not getting his chance to shine. I miss Annie, Phyllis and Nelson. I am watching this purely for Ray, Chris, and Stephen Campbell Moore's beard. I do love Shaz though. More Shaz, less Alex.

9. Dead Set
Zombies! Big Brother! Aisleyne! The Bad Rapist from Hollyoaks! This was amazing. Space was one of my favourite characters in all of 2008.

8. Gavin and Stacey
I'd do Nessa. But not until I'd done Bryn. This show is absolute genius, even if James Corden has become a bit of a twat since his History Boys days.

7. The Sarah Jane Adventures
I miss Hot Dad Alan, but Elisabeth Sladen is consistently amazing, and Clyde and Luke rock. Best British children's telly since Press Gang.

6. Beautiful People
Finally, little Posner gets to be the gay he always wanted to be! Gayest, funniest new sitcom in ages. Wonderful.

5. Merlin
Need I explain this to you people>

4. House
Wasn't so keen on series 4 at first, but that finale was INCREDIBLE.

3. Torchwood
I still haven't re-watched the finale. Apart from a few blips, Torchwood turned from that rubbish Barrowman vehicle with the pretty gays to proper good telly. So many good things this series: Captain Spike, Evil Jim Robinson, Martha, Geeky Owen, Tosh being amazing, Bryan Dick, PC Andy falling for Nessa from Gavin and Stacey, Snarky-Non-Emo Ianto, Gwen and Owen becoming likable...AND RHYS! Oh Rhys. I love Rhys.

2. The Wire
There'll never be anything quite like it again.

1. Doctor Who
Anyone who doubted Catherine Tate (including me), watch 'Turn Left' or, if you can bear it, the end of 'Journey's End' and eat your words. Donna blew all other companions out of the water by the end of the series, although the companions uniting, with THEIR companions and the properly great Harriet Jones was wonderful. There's all this talk of The Doctor being alone, but it really hammered home just how many people loved him and had their lives changed by him. Greatest episode was 'Midnight', which was terrifying and had Merlin in it, and was the first time since Eccleston days that an RTD script out-shone the great Moffat. However, this series belonged entirely to Bernard Cribbins, who despite the wonderful human instinct of Donna (and Torchwood Gwen, that's how you do compassion), was the true heart of the show this series. I watched the first episode last night and cried with happiness at Cribbins' Happy Dance at seeing Donna in the telescope. Cribbins, please be my grandad.


THE TOP 5 SOAPS FROM AROUND THE WORLD OF 2008

5. As The World Turns
Will NOT forgive Ameera, but the Brian storyline is very intriguing.

4. Coronation Street
Blanche and David continue to be amazing.

3. Hollyoaks
Not as good as 2007 by a long shot. In fact, it's been quite rubbish. I give it third place purely for the work of Jake Hendriks and Kieron Richardson, who gave Father Kieron and Ste much more depth and believability than the plot devicey scripts offered them.

2. Neighbours
Despite the Parkers, Neighbours is beginning to return to form. This may have something to do with Paul Robinson edging back to the side of Evil.

1. Verbotene Liebe
Not for the gays, (well kind of. Christian and Olli are the best written gay couple in all of soap), but for Christian's brother Gregor, with his heart of gold and his big, handsome face.


FILMS
I am not writing why for these because I need a shower.

TOP 10 FILMS OF 2008 (MANY are omitted, purely because I won't see them till 2009)

10. Persepolis
9. No Country For Old Men
8. How To Lose Friends And Alienate People
7. The Orphanage
6. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
5. Be Kind, Rewind
4. There Will Be Blood
3. High School Musical 3: Senior Year
2. The Dark Knight
1. Wall-E


FILMS TECHNICALLY FROM 2008 I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING IN 2009
Twatlight, Milk, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Were The World Mine, The Wrestler, Hunger, Frost/Nixon, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Slumdog Millionaire.


AND THE WORST
Meet The Spartans.


OTHER

BEST REALITY SHOW CONTESTANT: Jodie Prenger, I'd Do Anything (closely followed by Signature from Britain's Got Talent)

WORST REALITY SHOW CONTESTANTS: Three way between Dead-Wife Dan from The X Factor, Creepy Face Crying Kid from The X Factor and Pirate Sidegob Jessie from I'd Do Anything.

FAVOURITE MOMENT: Meeting Sir Terry Jones, meeting Johnny Depp or assaulting Jon Holmes on the tube.

GIGS I'VE BEEN TO IN 2008:
+ Manchester Versus Cancer (The Happy Mondays, Inspiral Carpets, The Farm and others I didn't really care about)
+ Fullmooners x2
+ Everyone at Mark Watson's 24 Hour Show
+ Russell Howard
+ B*Witched
+ Mutya Buena
+ Amateur Transplants
+ James
+ Some Radio Comedy